There is this perpetual saying that all girls seem to know, so deep in code that we question whether guys will ever catch on. Hang around a group of girls for–oh, let’s say 15 seconds–when yummy food has just been served, and you’ll hear this ancient adage being spoken out several times. It reeks with disgust for one’s self, yet has just enough of a soft edge for no one to really take notice.

The phrase? “Oh, I shouldn’t.”

Shouldn’t do what? What are we really saying? We shouldn’t break our diet? We shouldn’t add a couple more hundred calories to our diet? We shouldn’t enjoy ourselves because our culture says that if we stay miserable long enough, soon we will be happy?

I assure you I have stayed in this mode many times, and am ashamed to say that I too have fallen victim to its paradigms.

But can I just say that I am really tired of “should notting?” I love cookies and cakes–and yes, at a party, I might just want to try three different desserts. I promise not to OD, I promise not to become obesely overweight, but dang it–I want a cookie!

All of our should-notting is making us hungry, and when we are hungry, we are cranky. Cranky people can’t change the world–or they can try, but it’s going to be really hard when the tough gets even tougher.

All I’m saying is that we should take a really long look at ourselves. Are we driving ourselves crazy because that’s what our culture says we should do? Are we really going to settle to live like that forever? Always hungry, always skipping the chocolate cake, and always, always, always letting go of the truly magnificent in life because we just…can’t.

Can’t and shouldn’t are very different ideals. I can’t change the culture at large, at least right now, but I should change myself and how I view it. Let’s open our eyes and look at what really matters– and if at that moment you see a cookie, eat it. You should.

Photo Credit: freeeatsfood.com