How many of you have ever bought a dress for a special occasion, and come the day of the event realized that it doesn’t fit quite like it did when you first purchased it?

With wedding season ahead, I know that many of you will be investing in nice dresses and aiming to look your best very soon. Although weddings are really supposed to be about the bride and groom, they tend to breed self-confidence and body image issues like no other. Whether we’re a bridesmaid standing at the altar or just an attendee that’s going to see friends for the first time in a while, we feel pressure to look our absolute best to impress everyone in attendance.

A few years ago I was a bridesmaid for one of my best friends. I ordered my dress within the right time window and made sure it was in my closet well before the day of the wedding. It was a little snug to start, I admit, but I figured, the wedding is months away—surely I’ll lose a little weight before then and it’ll fit perfectly!

I was so wrong.

If anything, I think I gained weight before that wedding. By the grace of God I was able to zip that snug little dress with some assistance, but it was far from the perfect fit I’d hoped for. It was tight in all the wrong places and showed off all of the wrong curves. I was self-conscious all day during photos, and definitely not my usual self on the dance floor. Who can bust out their moves when they’re wearing a dress that’s not even close to their size?

I’ve also attended several weddings in the past few years, and without fail I find myself in the same position I was in as a bridesmaid. Sure, I wasn’t going to be up in the front to be stared at and judged by the rest of the guests; but I was sure to run into people I hadn’t seen since college—or even high school. Regardless of my size (or my feelings about my size before the save the date postcard arrived), I always bought a dress that was a little small and aimed to fit in it by the day of the event.

As I think about it, I realize I’ve done nothing but torture myself and breed low self-esteem. Have you been there before?

I’m glad to say that I’ve learned a valuable lesson through these wedding experiences: little dresses aren’t worth it. Big confidence and healthy body image come from knowing who we are and owning it. At the end of the day, nobody knows what size we wear—they only see whether we’re comfortable in our bodies or not.

Here are some tips for you as you prepare for wedding season:
1. Accept yourself as you are today. You are loved, you are valued and you are beautiful. You need not do anything to be accepted by anyone—you are good enough as you are right now. Believe it!
2. Buy the size that you are, not the size you hope to be. It’s tempting to get a smaller size and fall into the trap of fantasizing about being thin; but it’s unhealthy, unrealistic, and un-satisfying. When you shop for your dress, focus on how it fits rather than the number on the tag.
3. Rip out the tag. Speaking of the tag, just rip it out. Yep, cut that thing right off the dress. Every brand has different sizing, and if the number is causing you to think negative thoughts about your body, it really doesn’t need to be staring you in the face every time you pull your dress off the hanger.
4. Walk with confidence. If you believe you’re beautiful and choose to be the radiant, confident woman you’ve been created to be, nobody will be thinking about anything–except how much they want to keep spending time with you. Rather than waste time obsessing over how others perceive your appearance, choose to cultivate real beauty with the way you act.

Photo Credit: weddingsfresh.blogspot.com