We all have them: difficult members of our family, or awkward friends. When we see them crossing the room to possibly engage us in conversation, we wish we were suddenly invisible. Or, they are the type who will not speak to you until you speak first. On top of that, you know your mom or grandma is watching and will want you to “go be nice to them because they feel excluded.”

And yes, they may feel excluded for a reason….because they are in fact, difficult.

So what do we do with people like this—the ones that seem un-loveable, and cause you to have feelings of awkwardness unparalleled to any other?

First, we must remember our call as humans to love others. It all starts with the posture of our heart. Are we loving them even though they are awkward, or perhaps don’t deserve it? Or do we feel feelings of disdain, or even disgust toward them? If it is the latter, we need to remember the message “treat others as you would want to be treated,” and swallow our negative feelings and choose to see them differently. See them as a human who’s greatest desire is to be known and loved.

Second, we must put ourselves in their shoes. Try and imagine them as a child. What was their life like? What could have happened to them that perhaps made them a bit socially awkward? Think about how you would want to be approached, and what you would want to talk about if you were them.

Third, ask good questions, and have jokes in your back pocket. People generally love to talk about themselves…so ask your family member or friend all about themselves. Be sure to remember to not ask only “yes” or “no” questions as this will end the conversation too soon. Also, have some funny facts, jokes, or interesting topics on hand that you can use as conversation starters…

Here are some ideas for conversation:

What are you excited about right now?

I know you’ve probably told me this, but what was your childhood like? What was your favorite thing to do growing up?

What did you want to be when you “grew up?”

What did you study in school?

What do you like or dislike the most about your job? –OR- What is your dream job?

What is your favorite TV show or movie? Why do you like it so much? Which character reminds you the most of yourself?

As for the jokes…choose at your own discretion…but remember—everyone loves to laugh.

Happy Loving!

Photo Credit: flickr.com