the art of being a woman

the art of being a woman
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3:00 am
The Confidant

Oh, that time of year again when you acknowledge your new number, have some sort of celebratory dessert and usually wake up the next morning feeling no different than the year before. But, not this year. This  year is about embracing change head-on with a beautiful expectation that everything the new year is going to offer is indispensable.

Indispensable; you know, those things that are absolutely necessary in shaping our lives, rendering growth and empowering us to live with resolution. But, hold up! How can we embrace the indispensability of a new season without disregarding the history of our lives?

Here are 8 ways to celebrate your birthday timelessly, infusing both the past and future presently.

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3:00 am
The Achiever

A Note From The Editor: On page 82 of Darling Issue No. 12, we announced a call for submissions that tell your story and spark the creative process through word. Over the next month we plan to feature several of these submissions here online. Today we’re excited to reveal our second selection. We think that it’s a piece that’ll encourage you — wherever you work — while also calling you to stand tall in a wild world.

The conference was packed. Once everyone was seated we seemed to collectively reach into our gift bags. My eyebrows knit together as my head tipped to one side, “Why a lion?”

This small, hard plastic toy was meant to be a prompt. Its fierce teeth, menacing eyes, and ready stance were a reminder. It’s a jungle out there!

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3:00 am
The Intellectual

There is no doubt that social media has made our lives better in a myriad of ways. Thanks to FaceTime, we feel like we’re spending time in person with loved ones who live across the country. We share fun updates on Facebook and Instagram, allowing those in our networks to feel connected to what’s going on in our lives. Social media has advanced the missions of humanitarian causes and small businesses alike, and it has been revolutionary in bringing about change in the United States as well as in countries throughout the world.

Though on the contrary, social media has also become a source of stress, anxiety, and frustration. Increasingly, we’re witnessing society’s social commentary on the subject, watching as TV shows, authors, reality stars, and magazines alike share their irritation with social media and the manner in which it inflames tensions amongst loved ones, creates distractions from work, and generally encourages an environment of disconnectedness (or, at best, of forced connectedness).

Since society itself recognizes that we have a problem with using social media in an entirely positive way, what are we to do? Should we continue our fascination with social media as a form of entertainment, or should we take note of the warning signs and try to root out the potentially harmful implications of our online usage?

Here are some questions to consider as we ponder this issue.

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3:00 am
The Explorer

Travel addicts are dreamers.

We long for the far away, picture ourselves on planes, and love to imagine strange surroundings. That is, until reality sets in and we look out the window only to see the same view we see every single day. For most of us, travel is a luxury we only get to indulge in a few times a year, but it just takes a simple shift of the mind to make the most of home.

I’ve lived abroad a few times, but have recently returned to the UK and Ireland to explore more of my motherland. I set out to see it from the viewpoint of an outsider, and now I wonder why I hadn’t explored it much, much sooner. Below are a few things I’ve learned about how to be a traveler at home.

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3:00 am
The Confidant

As we soak in these last weeks of summer, we also bask in golden sunlight, carefree days, and in spending our time with friends and family.

Yet, summer also holds a tradition in addition to endless barbecues and baseball games: It’s Wedding Season. Weddings are beautiful, busy, and if you’ve ever attended one you know what I’m talking about. Watching two people you love make a pledge to live in a covenant with one another is both an honor and a blessing.

For many, a wedding is a time of joy and celebration. But, if you’re a single girl, a wedding can also be filled with a mix of anxiety and depression, compounding all of your fears into an avalanche of self-pity.

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3:00 am
The Confidant

A Note From The Editor: On page 82 of Darling Issue No. 12, we announced a call for submissions that tell your story and spark the creative process through word. Over the next month we plan to feature several of these submissions here online. Today we’re excited to reveal our very first selection. It’s a piece that simultaneously invites you in while encouraging you to step out and into the stories of those around you. We hope you enjoy.

She went into labor at 41 weeks and 4 days. She was determined not to rush this child, even though the thick, sticky heat of July was wearing on her.

Upon arrival at the hospital, she slipped in to the tub, and her husband pulled out his guitar to strum and sing soft words of encouragement. Labor progressed slowly, but her water broke on its own, and contractions started to intensify. After 12 hours of labor, at 8 cm, she was in so much physical pain, and so mentally exhausted, she asked for an epidural. Every contraction was still strong, but the intensity lessened, so she could actually breathe again. The improved relaxation helped her get to 10 cm, and then her body moved to push. She was delighted, and stared in to her husband’s eyes, already feeling relief.

They were going to make this happen.

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3:00 am
The Dreamer

If you’ve ever been frustrated by the negativity of traditional news media, you’re not alone. Yet now, more than ever before, we have the freedom to choose the media we most want to consume. Podcasts are a great choice; they make informative, positive, and interesting content readily accessible. If you haven’t indulged in this popular practice, log onto iTunes and find a wide array of Podcasts you can personally subscribe to, creating your own collection of hand picked media.

You can listen whenever you want and even listen to something again if you didn’t hear it the first time. Even better than the radio, you won’t miss a podcast’s content if you aren’t tuning in.

Here are a few worthy of your subscription. They’re sure to create great conversation amongst your family and friends the next time you jump in the car and take a summer road trip.

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3:00 am
The Beautician

I recently returned home to the U.S. after spending two weeks in Ghana, West Africa. As the Director of Project Development for the Touch A Life Foundation, I have traveled to Ghana a dozen times, but each time I’m there, I’m captivated by the innate beauty of Ghanaian women.

They are gorgeous on the inside and out, to be sure, but what I observe and relish in each time is a different kind of a beauty, one that results from a culture that is less influenced by the media than my own.

Let me explain.

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3:00 am
The Confidant

Dear 12 Year-Old Me,

I‘m not sure you’ll be able to enjoy any of this letter until I first let you know that, yes, those Mickey Mouse underwire bras at JC Penny’s that you’ve had your eye on will one day be yours. You’ll have to wait a while, though, because you won’t fit into a cup size until 11th grade. I promise it’s going to happen, you just have to give it time.

**
On any given Thursday social media is filled with the hashtag #tbt. Pictures of a smocked dress, braces, and so many mall bangs stare back at us through our phones. Some are downright cute and others are, well, downright perfect.

I give you exhibit A:

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3:00 am
The Dreamer

Recently, I’ve wondered: Is it socially acceptable to admit to having a bad day?

Saying that I am, in fact, having one has always felt like an admittance of fault – a depiction of the ways I am not measuring up to the seemingly societal norm of perfectionism. Not only that, but I’ve generally found that most are drawn to happy, smiling people. We tend to avoid those readily armed with complaints or sullen looks.

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3:00 am
The Dreamer

It might seem like a trap, thinking that happiness can be found only if picturesque ideals on a board come true. Reality can sometimes disappoint, so it’s possible that those ideas may never come to fruition.

Disappointment is scary, isn’t it? It settles in like a cat, heavy on your chest, and suddenly you forget what it feels like to hope and to dream because you’re just trying to breathe through unmet expectations.

It’s this fear of disappointment that had me rolling my eyes when others would decide to make vision boards. Unlike them, I was afraid of casting vision for my future because I was afraid that the things I longed for might never happen.

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3:00 am
The Dreamer

Another gem from our friends at The Chalkboard. Not only do they share the latest, greatest and greenest health articles, but they’ve also been known to dive deep into matters of the mind and soul — which is why we’re particularly loving this spring-cleaning post and sharing it with you, below.

INTERNAL CHAOS CAN manifest itself in many different external forms: an unhealthy diet, insomnia, addictive behaviors, chronic indecision or stagnation. For many of us, it takes shape in the form of messiness. And just like with a fast-food habit or a lack of sleep, the toxins can start to build up.

Just in time for spring cleaning season, we’re talking about all that internal and external clutter.

The way we compartmentalize our messiness is very telling. Not all of us thrive in a completely sterile environment – on the contrary; most of us feel the most at-home when there’s just a smidge of organized chaos in our lives. Whether it’s a closet filled with knick-knacks or a wallet littered with receipts, we all have our beautiful messes that give us a sense of comfort and ease.

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3:00 am
The Explorer

The days leading up to my trip to Argentina were nothing short of hectic.

When I’m in a good place and connected with myself, God, and loved ones, social media is a part of my life, but it is not a lead role. I could do or do without it, and be fine.

When I’ve lost connection to the things and people that matter most to me, I find that I am like an addict looking for my next hit. I’m on the prowl just looking and hoping for someone, something or that magic number of followers or likes to tell me I’m important, loved, worthy, enough. Sometimes I don’t even realize that I’ve lost touch until a few days or a week goes by, and something inside feels off.

Here’s how it can play out for me (and maybe I’m not the only one):

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3:00 am
The Confidant

I visited my grandmother at her nursing home last week. It’s been almost three years since I saw her last, and I wasn’t prepared for how much she had deteriorated. I knew she had dementia, but as I sat by her bed holding her wrinkled hand I struggled to connect the rosy-cheeked, cheerful woman I remembered with the pale, skinny form lying next to me.

She didn’t remember who I was and I didn’t expect her to. In fact, she slept almost the entire time I was there. To help pass the time a nurse mentioned that a hymn-sing was scheduled for 2 o’clock, which pulled a bright memory to the front of my mind.

I’m sitting on a piano bench next to my grandmother in the sunlit study, fumbling through “What a Friend We Have in Jesus.” The chords feel too big for my hands, but she belts straight through my blunders with the determined gusto of a freight train.

Yes, let’s go to the hymn-sing.

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3:00 am
The Intellectual

It’s easy to get overwhelmed by the news today. So much of the broadcasts we see and hear tend to focus on what’s bad  in the world, and because stations are constantly competing with fast-paced demands of social media and real-time updates, the accurate information can get lost in the shuffle. We’re left bewildered, defeated or out of touch.

So, where to find news updates that actually help us become more informed and engaged global citizens?

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